Kellye Mazzoli (00:33)
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Unmuted. Today's episode is going to be keeping that post conference glow. How do we keep that spark alive after ICMA and other conferences like that? I think that there's this very specific feeling that you get walking out of a big conference like ICMA or maybe some of your statewide conferences that you go to where you've just spent maybe three or four days surrounded by people who get
the life you live. People who speak your language and understand the weight of the work. And they also remind you why you fell in love with it in the first place. So at this point, I feel like my head is really kind of buzzing with ideas. My heart's really full. My body is just, well, honestly, it's actually wiped out and I'm tired, but in the best possible way. And that's the introvert coming out. I can be extroverted as you notice, if you saw me at the conference.
But really whenever I'm done, I'm just sort of wiped out. I just sort of give it my all whenever I'm at those conferences. And every year I tell myself that I'm gonna hold on to this vibrating energy that I get and I'm gonna come home, I'm gonna be inspired, I'm gonna be grounded and really ready to apply everything I learn. And for a few days I actually do. But then the emails start coming in and then I'm back.
to back meetings and the notebooks full of brilliant notes that get buried under next week's council agenda. And it's almost like I can feel that conference glow, just that high just sort of slipping away. And I start thinking, how do I keep that alive? Because that glow, it's not just about the sessions or the speakers or the colleagues. It is about the reminder of who I am when I'm not carrying everything alone. Do you get that same feeling, Charisse?
Charisse Deschenes (02:20)
I think you are describing it perfectly, Kellye. Just the energy is so buzzing. You everyone is buzzing with energy because you're in that room with like-minded people and you're discussing the things that you are passionate about. And so when you get home, it kind of hits you differently when you're sitting there quietly. You know, you're reflecting on the conversations that you had and...
you're alone, you're unpacking your bags, you know what I mean? Like all the things you're reflecting on. It really can be almost disorienting in some ways. So I don't know, I just feel like this collective rhythm with everyone that we're with at the conference and what an expressive kind of way that we get together once a year.
Kellye Mazzoli (02:48)
Mm-hmm.
Mm.
Charisse Deschenes (03:14)
to be with our peers. I love that. is, like you said, hard to get back into your rhythm as you're reflecting through everything. So you kind of realize how rare those connections really are. At least I'm kind of feeling that today because you have those conversations that get deeper than just, are you doing? It's great to see you. You can really reflect with people on the.
what's going on in their world and folks that you see, you know, maybe once every five years, but when you get back together, you're right back at that moment having a great conversation. So I think that that's why one of the reasons that you kind of, connect and then you're home and you're sitting there and you're like, the glow is starting to fade a little bit because I'm not in that energy anymore. I'm at, it's up to me to keep that moving forward. So,
Yeah, I don't know. think it takes a little time to lose it, but also as soon as you get back into the pace of work, you're like, yeah, I want to be that person. I want to be that person with that energy that we're taking away from this conference. Anyway, so I just say that the globe becomes this brief glimpse of who we could be if we had that kind of community all the time.
Kellye Mazzoli (04:29)
Yeah, it's funny. I think I always act a little surprised whenever that glow disappears. And I think it's normally like it's actually very normal. There's this physiological shift that happens whenever you go from that really high energy, high connection space that you're talking about, Sharice, back into routine. And so at the conference, I think your brain is in the state of expansion.
you are actually flooded with dopamine and oxytocin and all the good stuff that we're trying to create. And you get curious again and you're creative and you're open. And then I think you come home and your brain sort of flips back into what I call like a containment mode where everything becomes about the control again, the productivity, the order. Like your body literally reverts.
back to almost survival energy. And that's why you can feel this almost physical stop. Like one day you're buzzing with possibility and then the next it's like your world shrinks back down to your office walls. And I don't know, I mean, I think sometimes it's happened to me like while I'm on the plane flying home from a conference and other times it's taken a little bit longer. And so I think if you don't consciously do something to bridge that gap though, you'll end up in what.
Charisse Deschenes (05:37)
Mm-hmm.
Kellye Mazzoli (05:46)
What's more like kind of like a conference hangover where you're really craving that connection, but you can't recreate it. And that's the part like that used to frustrate me that I thought something was wrong with me for losing the momentum. But the truth is that nothing is wrong. I'm just returning to the conditions that existed before the conference and the glow doesn't fade because I failed. It fades because the environment does what it always does.
and it demands my attention. So I think if we want to keep that post-ICMA or post-conference glow and energy alive, I think we'll have to really intentionally rebuild pieces of that environment into our daily lives.
Charisse Deschenes (06:28)
Yeah, Kellye, I think that's such an important reframe because I used to think that I just lacked the discipline. Like for organized, maybe I'd follow every note that I took that, you know, what you're describing really is human nature and conferences create that kind of social and psychological container for us where, you know, we're given permission to expand. And once we leave that container, life contracts.
or, you know, again, right? Yeah, yeah. So what's helped me is learning that the contraction isn't a fight. When I land back home, you know, I give myself a little bit of grace. Instead of trying to hold on to everything, one thing that I do is I try to make a little note here and there as I go through the conference, you know, the notes on your phone.
Kellye Mazzoli (06:56)
Yeah, yeah, it sort of gets smaller.
Charisse Deschenes (07:20)
If there's something that I really want to remember or a phrase or even just a reference back to a message, then I'll kind of keep a few words or a sentence about that and what date it was and go back on reflect on those important little moments. Or if there's someone I want to reach out to after we've had a wonderful conversation, I really do try to reach out and just give a text or a.
an email or a note back to those people just because it's a special moment and I want to remember that and I want to keep that connection alive and that glow alive. So I don't recreate the event anymore. I think when I was younger, I used to try to take notes on every single, you know, moment really and try to capture it. And now that's not how I approach it at all. But I don't know.
It's not recreating the event, it's keeping alive the version of me that, you know, the event kind of awakens.
Kellye Mazzoli (08:15)
What a good way to look at it. It's not about maintaining the whole high, but about carrying sort of the essence of it forward for you. So maybe we should talk a little bit about some ways to do that because otherwise I think it stays a little abstract for some of us. And I think one of the ways that I recommend doing this, so you were talking about some of the small things that you do a quick.
Charisse Deschenes (08:24)
Yeah. Yeah.
Kellye Mazzoli (08:42)
reach out based on your notes. I think for me, I like to batch things. Like I batch my laundry, I batch my emails, right? Like I'm not always in them constantly. So for me, I like to sort of batch what I do after I come back from a conference. And so maybe call this sort of the post-ICMA or post-conference power hour. And...
Charisse Deschenes (09:05)
Sure, yeah.
Kellye Mazzoli (09:06)
You know, maybe I should do this before I unpack my suitcase. I'm gonna say I don't. I should do it before I check my email. I don't. But anyway, whenever I get back, it's all about putting an hour on my calendar where I grab my notebook, where I take my notes in my electronic notebook, my remarkable, and I grab my name badge and the stack of business cards that are inevitably shoved inside my tote.
in whatever pocket I could find at the moment. And so I empty all of that and I go through everything in that hour. And one of the ways that I think I do something very similar to you is that I jot down three conversations that really stayed with me. And this isn't how I used to conference. I used to do it exactly like you were, which was write everything down and try to recreate everything and do everything. Like, I just didn't want to miss any of it because it all seems so important.
when I first started attending these conferences, think now, I'm in conference like number 20. I mean, literally, I've been going to these conferences for 20 years, ICMA alone, let alone all the other ones. so I try to, like now it's like focus on those three conversations that really stayed with me, the ones that really felt, made me feel something, maybe changed the way that I thought. And I try to take that with me into this next week.
Charisse Deschenes (10:06)
Yeah.
Kellye Mazzoli (10:20)
like the one that we're in. And that's it. Just the three things and I can schedule those because once they're on my calendar, then they become real. Those things I said I was gonna do. So it's a lot less about processing every single note and more about capturing what really helped me feel alive. And that's where the glow lives, is in that feeling, in that spark that I felt when something really resonated. And if I can anchor in that, and I think if those in our audience can anchor in that, then it doesn't.
Charisse Deschenes (10:41)
Mm-hmm.
Kellye Mazzoli (10:47)
it doesn't have to fade as fast. Does that make sense?
Charisse Deschenes (10:50)
Yeah, I that makes a lot of sense. And I love that you call it a power hour and you give yourself that time just to, you know, here are my cards here, isn't it? You know, kind of connect it. I love that. And mine's a little, you know, our brains are a little different and I have my own systems, of course too, but in similar way, you know, like, you know, you know what, I like to go, my body is a physical learner. So, and body's emotion. I really,
Kellye Mazzoli (11:00)
Yeah. It's very intentional. Yeah. Telly, telly. I want to know.
Charisse Deschenes (11:18)
reflect, put my, I listen to lot of podcasts and things like that, but I'll just take out the earbuds and just go for a walk and kind of reflect on the moments and what happened. And I replay the week in my head a bit, you know, what moment told me the truth about where I am right now too? Like, how do I reflect that back into my own life and how does that relate to me? And I think everyone does it in their own way, like you said, but sometimes it's.
excitement and exhaustion that I'm feeling after that conference, but I listen to whatever the message is coming to me when I'm in that moment. And then like you, I pick some of those things to integrate back into the work. I might be like more just one or, you know, maybe it's a leadership practice. I heard someone talk about that I want to learn more and dive deeper into that or maybe practice. Just, you know, think about the ways I communicate in a different way.
Kellye Mazzoli (11:59)
Yeah
Charisse Deschenes (12:11)
different than I had before I left. So it's small stuff really, but how does it fit into my real world? Because if it only works in a conference environment, then it's not really sustainable at that point, right?
Kellye Mazzoli (12:22)
Right, yeah,
yes, yes. I think what I hear you describing is sort of integration, right? Like you're taking the energy of the conference and you're translating it into a habit that actually makes sense into your daily rhythm. And then the second thing, and I can't emphasize this enough, is staying connected to the people that you met. We always say we're going to...
Charisse Deschenes (12:31)
Yeah. Yeah.
Kellye Mazzoli (12:46)
but then life happens. And so I'm working to make it a practice to reach out to one person a week for a month after the conference. I'm going to be sending a quick message here saying, hey, I've been thinking about that conversation that we had about whatever it is, fill in the blank. it, did we talk about burnout? Did we talk about something interesting that's going on in their city? Just something that's still sitting with me. And I don't think it, I think in the past I thought it needed to be really deep. And now I think,
It's not even about that. It's just like, if it's something that's sticking with me, and if I'm reaching out and letting that person know like, hey, you said something that really stuck with me, that it becomes more about continuity. And every time that I choose to reconnect, I think that I'm gonna be keeping that network alive. So honestly, I think if you do this, if you reach out and you connect with at least one person,
from that conference every single week over the month. It's only four short, you know, quick conversations there, but I think you keep yourself alive through that reconnection. And that seems really doable to me.
Charisse Deschenes (13:54)
Yeah.
Yeah, I like that you're going to do that weekly. I think I've tried to fit it in the past, you know, into a week or two. But I will tell you, like that kind of special connection and getting an email or sending one to someone and rekindling a conversation that we were having at the conference has meant a lot to me too. So I love that you're doing that.
And I do want to say that I'm not in my normal environment right now. And I do have a kitty in the background making a lot of noise. And he's great. But if you hear something background from me, that's what's going on today. Hey, kitty. ⁓
Kellye Mazzoli (14:20)
Hahaha
I love it. Hello Kitty. Welcome to the podcast. Should
we give the Kitty Cat credit?
Charisse Deschenes (14:33)
Yeah, I think we should. Anyway, going back to this, though, that's been really meaningful. And that's a piece that really kind of changes everything because that whole relationship that you're creating, it's like emotional safety and allows you to keep growing with that relationship as well. And when I stay in touch with people from ICMA, it reminds me that I'm not doing whatever it is I'm doing in isolation, that there are other people out there that are going.
through similar situations and that's been so meaningful and helps me remain inspired as well. So I don't know, like some of it could be like, remember how you inspired me through that presentation. Other times it's just like, hey, it was really great to see you and talk with you about that thing that was going on in your life that I know that we've talked in the past.
and I've been there to listen, you've been there to listen and just support each other. So I love that. And, you know, just a reminder that when you're buried under spreadsheets, somebody else is out there really experiencing that shared understanding and keeping that glow from turning into guilt or something else, you know.
Kellye Mazzoli (15:41)
Yes, yes, because it's the guilt that kills the momentum, right? Like whenever you feel like, I think I should be more inspired instead of realizing that inspiration ebbs and flows, everything happens in seasons. Yet again, that comes up. But staying in touch with that, think really normalizes it. let's so for me, like this third thing is about momentum. It's about rhythm.
And it's about giving yourself some decompression time. So don't fly home on Wednesday and dive right into meetings on Thursday. Try to give yourself a little bit of a buffer, even if it's a half day. Like you need a little bit of time to process if you can to rest and to let your nervous system settle. And even if you can't do that, I mean, I do think that like give yourself a half day somewhere in the rest of your week, because I know like
If you're flying home Wednesday morning, if you can give yourself the rest of Wednesday afternoon, great. If you can't, make sure that you're giving yourself some time to sort of process and rest, just like we're talking about. With writing down different things and writing down your top three or maybe your one thing. I think of it like letting the conference just settle into your bones instead of rushing to put it all to use.
Charisse Deschenes (17:01)
Yeah, that's huge. Yeah. I always think that of that is like the integration time. You need that little bit of space before you're like right back into it. And you need that time to metabolize. It's just things that they're unprocessed, then you'll never get back to it if you're just so busy that you can't see yourself coming and going. So you can't embody what you haven't absorbed, you know?
Kellye Mazzoli (17:08)
I love it.
Mmm. Yes,
you can't embody what you haven't absorbed. I love it. Absolutely. Integration time. I like this idea of integration time. Let it just sort of absorb throughout your body. And you know, I think what we're really talking about here is reclaiming agency over how we experience growth. So.
Conferences really remind us what it feels like to be fully engaged and curious and connected and hopeful But that version of us is an exclusive to our time recently in Tampa or to ICMA Still here the glow really only fades if we stop feeding it So maybe this week instead of letting the inbox win, let's pick one small way to keep that energy alive
Charisse Deschenes (17:58)
Hahaha
Kellye Mazzoli (18:06)
Reach out to someone who inspired you. Try a new habit. Just sit with your journal and ask, what felt alive in me last week? Like, what is it that I wanna keep? Why do I keep going back to these conferences? What is it? Why have I been doing this for 20 years? What really gets me sparked and inspired? And I think maybe that right there will be enough.
Charisse Deschenes (18:25)
Yeah, Kellye. And remember, the glow doesn't come from this event. It comes from you being in alignment with what matters most. So conferences just make it easier to access because they strip away the noise for a few days. But you can recreate that feeling in smaller ways, like a coffee with a colleague or who sees you and a quiet morning walk or a brave conversation with something you've been avoiding or about something you've been avoiding.
So the glow is really your own clarity showing through. So instead of chasing that conference high, try cultivating it. Every week, give yourself something that reminds you you were in that room, open, alive and connected, because that's the version of you your team needs to see, your city needs, and honestly, you also need it.
Kellye Mazzoli (19:15)
That's it. Yes, the conference glow isn't a thing to preserve. It really is just about, it's a thing to practice.
Charisse Deschenes (19:17)
You
Kellye Mazzoli (19:21)
And if you want a space to share those conversations and to have them keep happening where you don't have to wait until the next year to fill that energy again, that's why we have this here. It's where the community keeps growing, keeps connecting, and keeps that light on between conferences.
Charisse Deschenes (19:38)
And we'd love for you to join us there. We'd, but even if you don't find your people, protect your glow and keep showing up as a leader, the one that you were reminded you could be. That's how we all stay unmuted.
